Based on the nine personality types on the Couples’ Personality Index (CPI), there are forty-five possible personality pairs. The strengths and challenges of each personality pair are explained on this website. To find out about any of the forty-five personality pairs, click on the Personality Pairs dropdown menu at the top of any page.

 

This page takes a closer look at the relationship between a person whose Personality Triad has a Social Connector Core, and person whose Personality Triad has an Ideas Explorer Core. The Social Connector Triad includes a Social Changemaker Bodyguard and an Ideas Explorer Bodyguard. The Ideas Explorer Triad includes an Ideas Changemaker Bodyguard and a Social Connector Bodyguard

 

For every personality pair discussion, the names “Sam” and “Alex” will be used for easy reference. These names are intended to be gender-neutral as any gender can have any personality type.

 

 

Falling in love

We experience falling in Love through the Explorer part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Explorer is our core personality or one of our Bodyguards. So when the Explorer IS our core personality and we are in a relationship, we just want to stay focused on the good feels of being in love. Having to deal with other aspects of the relationship can stress us out and make us want to pull away.

 

In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Social Connector Triad which includes an Ideas Explorer Bodyguard. And Alex has the Ideas Explorer Triad which includes an Ideas Explorer Core.

 

Sam and Alex both have the Ideas Explorer in their Triad. The difference is that for Alex, it is the Core Personality; whereas for Sam, it is a Bodyguard.

 

Because the Explorer element in both Sam’s and Alex’s Personality Triads is the Ideas Explorer, their feelings while they are falling in love naturally align. The difference between having the Ideas Explorer as a Core Personality and having it as a Bodyguard Personality becomes most apparent in the transition from the honeymoon phase to more mundane day-to-day living.

 

Because the Ideas Explorer is Alex’s Core Personality, they want to stay fully present in the feeling of romance and connection as long as possible. Because the Ideas Explorer is not Sam’s Core Personality, they are willing to let social distractions poke holes in the romantic bubble at any point in the relationship.

 

How close they feel during the honeymoon phase depends on how active Sam’s Ideas Explorer Bodyguard is. The Ideas Explorer Bodyguard in Sam’s Triad anchors their love in the anticipation of having their deepest feelings heard and supported.

 

The fact that love means the same thing to both of them can make the honeymoon phase feel perfect as long as they both are embracing the experience of falling in love.

 

If both Sam and Alex embrace love in this early stage of their relationship, it creates a foundation of closeness they can revisit as the relationship progresses, any time they feel at risk of drifting apart.

 

If Sam’s Ideas Explorer Bodyguard is not developed or active, the honeymoon phase of their relationship is at risk of falling flat, leaving Sam feeling distracted and Alex feeling betrayed.

 

Regardless of what happens throughout the honeymoon phase, once it is over, Sam is likely to direct their energies back out into the world by focusing on achieving their personal and professional life goals.

 

If the couple grows closer during the honeymoon phase, they are likely to stay emotionally connected. If the honeymoon phase feels underwhelming, they are likely to ‘fall out of love’ sooner rather than later.

 

Compatibility

Feeling compatible with someone happens when our Core Personality, no matter which personality type it is, feels fully accepted by the other person. If our core personality feels pressured by the other person to change in any way, that feeling of compatibility starts breaking down.

 

In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Social Connector Triad which includes a Social Connector Core. And Alex has the Ideas Explorer Triad which includes an Ideas Explorer Core.

 

Alex’s Ideas Explorer Core prides itself on accepting and supporting their partner’s deepest feelings. But they might judge their partner for not wanting to stay immersed in those deep feelings, and expect them to work on changing themselves. Sam’s Social Connector Core is focused on success. Sam may expect Alex to change their mindset or course of action as part of a commitment to leveling up the private aspects of the relationship or the public perception of it.

 

In the long run, Sam might feel that Alex is not concerned enough with moving ahead in life. And Alex might feel that Sam is not deep enough.

 

Because Sam’s Core Personality is one of Alex’s Bodyguards, and Alex’s Core Personality is one of Sam’s Bodyguards, they have the potential to truly understand and accept one another. However, if their respective Bodyguards are not developed or active, that can actually cause them to feel as though they are ‘from different planets.’

 

Although neither Sam nor Alex is likely to make it obvious that they are impacted by any expectations their partner has of them to change what they do naturally, it can be difficult to avoid internalizing the feeling that they are not enough. Every time they take that hit, any feeling of compatibility that exists in the relationship also takes a hit.

 

Depending on how much influence each of their Bodyguards has in their respective Triads, Sam and Alex have the potential to grow closer or more distant over time.

 

Conflict

Communicating that we want something to be different in a relationship usually falls on the Changemaker part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Changemaker is our Core Personality or one of our Bodyguards.

 

In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Social Connector Triad which includes a Social Changemaker Bodyguard. And Alex has the Ideas Explorer Triad which includes an Ideas Changemaker Bodyguard.

 

Of all three Changemaker Personality Types on the Couples Personality Index, the Social Changemaker is the most naturally compassionate and concerned with the needs of others; whereas the Ideas Changemaker is one of the most forceful and argumentative personality types on the Couples Personality Index.

 

Sam’s Social Changemaker Bodyguard has the outlook that giving is the best way to make things better. If Sam thinks something needs to change, they are inclined to diplomatically persist in offering mutually beneficial solutions to whatever is bothering them, until it gets resolved.

 

Alex is most likely to feel triggered when they sense that something they consider important is being ignored or dismissed. That is likely to trigger intense emotions in their Ideas Explorer Core. Those intense emotions can translate to an argumentative attitude from the Ideas Changemaker Bodyguard. This Bodyguard is eager to assert itself in defense of the Ideas Explorer Core which is naturally more sensitive and introverted.

 

For this Personality Pair, conflict stems from a difference in temperament that can make it difficult to share certain experiences. Sam’s outgoing, sociable demeanor and Alex’s introspective emo vibe can feel at odds when environments and activities that are comfortable for Sam, are not comfortable for Alex, and vice versa.

 

Fitting into the World

The approach we take to finding our place in the world is handled by the Connector part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Connector is our Core personality or one of our Bodyguards. The more active the Connector element in our Personality Triad (whether it is a Core or a Bodyguard), the more important it is to us that our relationship act as bridge between who we really are and how the world perceives us.

 

In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Social Connector Triad which includes a Social Connector Core. And Alex has the Ideas Explorer Triad which includes a Social Connector Bodyguard.

 

Sam’s Social Connector Triad and Alex’s Ideas Explorer Triad have the same Social Connector element. The difference is that in Sam’s Triad, it is the Core Personality; whereas in Alex’s Triad, it is a Bodyguard.

 

Because the Social Connector in Sam’s Triad is their Core Personality, it is very important to them that the relationship acts as a bridge between who they are and how the world perceives them. Because the Social Connector element in Alex’s Triad is a Bodyguard, and not their Core Personality, the question of how their relationship supports their place in the world is not necessarily top of mind.

 

But when Alex’s Connector Bodyguard is active, Alex expects the relationship to support their connection with the life around them in the same way that Sam does. A Connector Bodyguard is most likely to become active whenever a person feels compelled to plant roots or take up space in the world. As a Core Personality or an active Bodyguard, the Social Connector element wants the relationship to support the social image and status side of their identity.

 

Because Alex’s Core Personality is naturally introverted, their Connector needs are likely to focus on specific circumstances or environments. For example, Alex may want the relationship to support the social image and status side of their identity as an artist in the art world.

 

In this Personality Pair, there is not likely to be any competitive edge to Sam’s and Alex’s relationship because Sam and Alex are likely to pursue completely different spheres of influence.

 

Having the same Connector element means that Sam and Alex have parallel perspectives on the Connector role that their relationship plays in their lives. If Alex’s Connector Bodyguard is active, this shared aspect of their Personalities can reinforce any mutual recognition and attraction that may have played a role in bringing this couple together in the first place. ©