Based on the nine personality types on the Couples’ Personality Index (CPI), there are forty-five possible personality pairs. The strengths and challenges of each personality pair are explained on this website. To find out about any of the forty-five personality pairs, click on the Personality Pairs dropdown menu at the top of any page.

 

This page takes a closer look at the relationship between a person whose Personality Triad has a Social Explorer Core, and a person whose Personality Triad has a Physical Changemaker Core. The Social Explorer Triad includes a Social Changemaker Bodyguard and a Physical Connector Bodyguard. The Physical Changemaker Triad includes a Physical Explorer Bodyguard and a Physical Connector Bodyguard.

 

For every personality pair discussion, the names “Sam” and “Alex” will be used for easy reference. These names are intended to be gender-neutral as any gender can have any personality type.

 

Falling in love

We experience falling in Love through the Explorer part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Explorer is our core personality or one of our Bodyguards. So when the Explorer IS our core personality and we are in a relationship, we just want to stay focused on the good feels of being in love. Having to deal with other aspects of the relationship can stress us out and make us want to pull away.

 

In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Social Explorer Triad which includes a Social Explorer Core. And Alex has the Physical Changemaker Triad which includes a Physical Explorer Bodyguard.

 

Because the Explorer element in Sam’s Triad is their Core Personality, they want to stay fully present in the feeling of romance and connection as long as possible. Because that Explorer element is the Social Explorer, their love is anchored in the feeling of having someone by their side and the mutual choice to share the dance of life with one another.

 

Alex’s Physical Explorer Bodyguard anchors love in their body. But because the Explorer element in Alex’s Triad is not their Core Personality, they are willing to let real life distractions poke holes in the romantic bubble at any point in the relationship.

 

Ultimately, Sam’s love is strongest when the couple moves through daily life together, sharing the reality of life’s ups and downs. Alex’s love is strongest when they feel a strong physical attraction and chemistry. Over time, experiencing love in different ways can create a disconnect in the relationship, leading Sam and Alex to ‘fall out of love.’

 

Compatibility

Feeling compatible with someone happens when our Core Personality, no matter which personality type it is, feels fully accepted by the other person. If our core personality feels pressured by the other person to change in any way, that feeling of compatibility starts breaking down.

 

In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Social Explorer Triad which includes a Social Explorer Core. And Alex has the Physical Changemaker Triad which includes a Physical Changemaker Core.

 

Sam’s Social Explorer Core is naturally gifted at accepting others unconditionally. So it is unlikely that Alex would ever feel pressured by Sam to change any aspect of themselves.

 

Alex’s Physical Changemaker Core is invested in feeling powerful in the world. If they are not satisfied with the level of power they feel in their life, they can feel compelled to exercise more power over their partner.

 

When Alex is not happy with something in the relationship, they might impose their will by finding a way to blame Sam, and taking on the demeanor of a bully.

 

Sam’s Social Explorer Personality is eager to please Alex by doing everything they can to make Alex Happy. It is very important that this Personality Pair connect with community because social isolation could push their relationship dynamic to an unhealthy extreme.

 

Even though Alex’s expectations can be more about control than whatever issue they are directed at, they are still likely to impact Sam. Each time issues arise, they are likely to trigger any insecurities Sam has in connection with the criticisms that are brought up.

 

Ultimately, this Personality Pair might confuse compatibility with familiarity. It is important that both Sam and Alex stay committed to loving themselves first and foremost. That will create a foundation for each of them to pursue the life they truly want which may or may not include their current partner.

 

Conflict

Communicating that we want something to be different in a relationship usually falls on the Changemaker part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Changemaker is our Core Personality or one of our Bodyguards. So, when the Changemaker IS our Core personality and we are in a relationship, we can’t just ignore aspects of the relationship we wish were different.

 

In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Social Explorer Triad which includes a Social Changemaker Bodyguard. And Alex has the Physical Changemaker Triad which includes a Physical Changemaker Core.

 

The Social Changemaker in Sam’s Triad is a Bodyguard. Therefore, it is influenced by the Social Explorer Core Personality which tends to avoid confrontation, overriding the desire to ask for anything that would cause tension in the relationship.

 

Because the Physical Changemaker in Alex’s Triad is their Core Personality, they are not likely to ignore something that is bothering them. One of the most forceful personality types on the Couples Personality Index, the Physical Changemaker Personality often comes across as belligerent even without realizing it.

 

When Alex allows any disappointment they have in Sam to cross over into a power play, it is immediately apparent in Alex’s physically intimidating body language. Sam’s easygoing, people pleasing nature is not likely to resist Alex’s efforts to control any or all aspects of Sam’s life or the relationship.

 

For this Personality Pair, the risk of Alex reacting defensively to a trigger may always be there. Alex has a natural intensity that can easily overshadow Sam’s easy-going temperament. Any confrontation is much more likely to be initiated by Alex than by Sam.

 

It is very important that this Personality Pair connect with community because social isolation could push their relationship dynamic to an unhealthy extreme. This couple is at high risk for the relationship becoming one-sided to the point of abuse.

 

Fitting into the World

The approach we take to finding our place in the world is handled by the Connector part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Connector is our Core personality or one of our Bodyguards. The more active the Connector element in our Personality Triad (whether it is a Core or a Bodyguard), the more important it is to us that our relationship act as bridge between who we really are and how the world perceives us.

 

In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Social Explorer Triad which includes a Physical Connector Bodyguard. And Alex has the Physical Changemaker Triad which also includes a Physical Connector Bodyguard.

 

Because the Physical Connector element in both Sam’s and Alex’s Triads is a Bodyguard, and not the Core Personality, the question of how their relationship supports their place in the world is not necessarily top of mind for either one of them.

 

To what extent Sam and Alex expect their relationships to help them feel at home in the world depends on how active their Connector Bodyguards are. As an active Bodyguard, the Connector element can make it a priority to seek relationships that support our connection with everything.

 

A Connector Bodyguard is most likely to become active whenever a person feels under pressure to plant roots or take up space in the world.

 

In this Personality Pair, both Sam and Alex have the Physical Connector Bodyguard which is inclined to see the relationship as an important puzzle piece in the tangible reality of a full life. Any partner behavior that does not reflect loyalty and dependability fractures the relationship puzzle piece that the Physical Connector is trusting to stay whole.

 

Although Alex has the Physical Connector Bodyguard in their Triad, they may still behave in ways that do not reflect Physical Connector values.

 

Alex’s Physical Changemaker Triad has its own internal contradiction because the Physical Changemaker Core and Physical Connector Bodyguard have diametrically opposed methods for dealing with life. The Physical Changemaker Core wants to charge at life until it surrenders. The Physical Connector Bodyguard wants to use established frameworks to build a world where people make the most of what reality has to offer.

 

If Alex’s Physical Connector Bodyguard is active, it is constantly trying to manage the Physical Changemaker Core to prevent it from making a choice that Alex would regret. The Physical Changemaker Core is likely to resent any demands, whether they come from its own ‘alter ego’ Bodyguard or from a partner.

 

If Alex’s Physical Connector Bodyguard is not active, Alex may not even recognize Sam’s Physical Connector needs. And even if Alex recognizes Sam’s needs, Alex is still likely to ignore them.

 

The Physical Changemaker Triad’s internal power struggle influence Alex’s Connector needs. Alex’s Connector needs zero in on keeping their environment predictable and nonthreatening.

 

In this Personality Pair, Alex expects the relationship to help ‘cover’ them in any situations that may draw the attention of authority or anyone they perceive as the enemy. Sam’s Social Explorer Personality is generally eager to support Alex, no questions asked.

 

In this Personality Pair, the relationship is more likely to meet Alex’s Connector needs than Sam’s. ©