Based on the nine personality types on the Couples’ Personality Index (CPI), there are forty-five possible personality pairs. The strengths and challenges of each personality pair are explained on this website. To find out about any of the forty-five personality pairs, click on the Personality Pairs dropdown menu at the top of any page.
This page takes a closer look at the relationship between a person whose Personality Triad has an Ideas Connector Core, and person whose Personality Triad has a Physical Explorer Core. The Ideas Connector Triad includes an Ideas Changemaker Bodyguard and a Physical Explorer Bodyguard. The Physical Explorer Triad includes a Physical Changemaker Bodyguard and an Ideas Connector Bodyguard
For every personality pair discussion, the names “Sam” and “Alex” will be used for easy reference. These names are intended to be gender-neutral as any gender can have any personality type.
Falling in love
We experience falling in Love through the Explorer part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Explorer is our core personality or one of our Bodyguards. So when the Explorer IS our core personality and we are in a relationship, we just want to stay focused on the good feels of being in love. Having to deal with other aspects of the relationship can stress us out and make us want to pull away.
In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Ideas Connector Triad which includes a Physical Explorer Bodyguard. And Alex has the Physical Explorer Triad which includes a Physical Explorer Core.
Sam and Alex both have the Physical Explorer in their Triad. The difference is that for Alex, it is the Core Personality; whereas for Sam, it is a Bodyguard.
Because the Explorer element in both Sam’s and Alex’s Personality Triads is the Physical Explorer, their feelings while they are falling in love naturally align. The fact that love means the same thing to both of them makes the honeymoon phase feel perfect as long as they both are embracing the experience of falling in love.
For both Sam and Alex, love is anchored in their body.
The difference between having the Physical Explorer as a Core Personality and having it as a Bodyguard Personality becomes most apparent in the transition from the honeymoon phase to more mundane day-to-day living.
Because the Physical Explorer in Alex’s Triad is their Core Personality, they want to stay fully present in the feeling of romance and connection as long as possible. Because the Physical Explorer in Sam’s Triad is a Bodyguard and not their Core Personality, it answers to their Ideas Connector Core, which is willing to let distracting thoughts poke holes in the romantic bubble at any point in the relationship.
How close Sam and Alex feel during the honeymoon period depends on how active Sam’s Physical Explorer Bodyguard is. The fact that love means the same thing to both Sam and Alex can make the honeymoon period feel perfect as long as they are both embracing the experience of falling in love.
If they do embrace love in this early stage of their relationship, it creates a foundation of closeness they can revisit as the relationship progresses, any time they feel at risk of drifting apart.
If Sam’s Ideas Explorer Bodyguard is not developed or active, the honeymoon phase of their relationship is at risk of falling flat, leaving Sam feeling distracted and Alex feeling abandoned.
Regardless of what happens throughout the honeymoon phase, once it is over, Sam is likely to direct their energies back toward all the diversions that life has to offer. If Sam and Alex grow closer during the honeymoon phase, they are likely to stay emotionally connected. If the honeymoon phase feels underwhelming, they are likely to ‘fall out of love’ sooner rather than later.
Compatibility
Feeling compatible with someone happens when our Core Personality, no matter which personality type it is, feels fully accepted by the other person. If our core personality feels pressured by the other person to change in any way, that feeling of compatibility starts breaking down.
In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Ideas Connector Triad which includes an Ideas Connector Core. And Alex has the Physical Explorer Triad which includes a Physical Explorer Core.
Sam’s Ideas Connector Core Personality has an aversion to limiting themselves or anyone else to a single way of doing things. Sam prioritizes never being bored or stuck in a mental rut. So they are unlikely to commit themselves to a particular permanent change or to persist in wanting or expecting their partner to do that for them. Sam might make a spur-of-the-moment request. But if Alex hesitates, they are likely to simply move on.
Alex’s Physical Explorer Core is deeply connected to their body, and is focused on how their body feels in each moment. Although Sam’s priorities are likely to annoy Alex, Alex prefers not to waste time worrying about what other people are thinking or doing. So Alex is not likely to have any expectations of Sam.
In this Personality Pair, neither Sam nor Alex is likely to persist in having any particular expectations of their partner. This couple has the potential to feel compatible in the long term, as long as the different facets of their relationship line up.
Conflict
Communicating that we want something to be different in a relationship usually falls on the Changemaker part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Changemaker is our Core Personality or one of our Bodyguards.
In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Ideas Connector Triad which includes an Ideas Changemaker Bodyguard. And Alex has the Physical Explorer Triad which includes a Physical Changemaker Bodyguard.
Sam’s Ideas Changemaker Bodyguard is one of the most forceful personality types on the Couples Personality Index. It often comes across as argumentative, and tends to show up in defense of the Ideas Connector Core which is more inclined toward peacemaking and hesitant to take a stand.
If Sam feels left out by Alex in some way, Sam’s Ideas Connector Personality is likely to be disappointed enough to trigger the Ideas Changemaker Bodyguard. The instinctive response of Alex’s Physical Explorer Core to Sam’s combative energy is to retreat into a familiar space or activity that feels good to their body.
In this Personality Pair, Sam and Alex are not likely to spend much time in conversation resolving their issues. Instead, they are likely to end the conflict by backing away from each other until tensions subside, and resume the relationship later as if nothing has happened. The more frequently this cycle repeats, the more the relationship is strained and pushed closer to the breaking point.
Alex’s Physical Changemaker Bodyguard is also one of the most forceful personality types on the Couples Personality Index. The Physical Changemaker is extremely sensitive to having its power threatened, and welcomes opportunities to exercise control.
If Alex’s Physical Explorer Personality feels that Sam has prevented them from having a good time, the default carefree attitude of Alex’s Physical Explorer Core can give way to the confrontational and physically intimidating energy of their Physical Changemaker Bodyguard.
Sam’s Ideas Connector Personality may turn their attention away or react with their own moment of aggression. Regardless, either Sam’s distractions or Alex’s nonchalance is apt to end the clash, allowing the relationship to return to ‘normal.’
In this Personality Pair, conflict is sporadic but fiery. The more Sam and Alex enjoy fun and exciting experiences together, the closer they are apt to feel and the less frequent their conflicts are likely to be.
Fitting into the World
The approach we take to finding our place in the world is handled by the Connector part of our Personality Triad, regardless of whether the Connector is our Core personality or one of our Bodyguards. The more active the Connector element in our Personality Triad (whether it is a Core or a Bodyguard), the more important it is to us that our relationship act as bridge between who we really are and how the world perceives us.
In this Personality Pair, Sam has the Ideas Connector Triad which includes an Ideas Connector Core. And Alex has the Physical Explorer Triad which includes an Ideas Connector Bodyguard.
Sam’s Ideas Connector Triad and Alex’s Physical Explorer Triad have the same Ideas Connector element. The difference is that in Sam’s Triad, it is the Core Personality; whereas in Alex’s Triad, it is a Bodyguard.
Because the Ideas Connector in Sam’s Triad is their Core Personality, it is very important to them that the relationship acts as a bridge between who they are and how the world perceives them.
Because the Connector element in Alex’s Triad is a Bodyguard, and not their Core Personality, the question of how their relationship supports their place in the world is not necessarily top of mind. To what extent Alex expects their relationship to help them feel at home in the world depends on how active their Connector Bodyguard is.
As an active Bodyguard, the Connector element can make it a priority to seek relationships that support our connection with everything. A Connector Bodyguard is most likely to become active whenever a person feels compelled to plant roots or take up space in the world.
As a Core Personality or active Bodyguard, the Ideas Connector prompts Sam and Alex to depend on the relationship for support of thoughts and feelings they have about their identity in the world. Having the same Connector element means that Sam and Alex understand one another’s Connector needs. But it also puts those Connector needs in direct competition with one another.
Alex’s Physical Explorer Personality is not generally interested in thinking or communicating about theoretical ideas. In order for Alex to support Sam’s Connector needs, Alex’s Ideas Connector Bodyguard has to be active. But that can turn into a catch 22 because the more active Alex’s Ideas Connector Bodyguard, the more their own Connector needs call for attention.
For this Personality Pair, the shared Connector element is a double edged sword. Sam and Alex may need to rely on family or friends instead of their romantic partner to support their Connector values. ©
